Lord Nut created these peanuts in homage of his only true love—Rebel Mary. This fiery lass wielded a temper that only drew him closer to her. Yet it ultimately tore them apart as she angrily abandoned him on Valentine’s Day (he had given her a veggie dicer as a gift). Here’s to you, Rebel Mary, wherever you and your finely chopped tomatoes may be.
Rumour has it these peanuts gained the nickname “Wingman” when Lord Nut donned a flying lizard costume to reach their rare ingredient on a remote cliff. It’s also been said the name derives from the time Lord Nut, as a favour to his best mate, accompanied a rather dull damsel on a double date. Believe whichever account you favour. They’re both probably true.
Lord Nut is renowned as a bare-knuckle boxer, having won bouts with prizefighters, matelots, rampsmen, and lang-legged telepathic twins. To keep his fists firm for fighting, he soaks them in pickle juice and ranch. It’s a flavour combo that folks fancy, which he discovered by landing one-two combos on their chops. So pop these tangy peanuts in yours.
By day, he is Lord Nut. By night, he is secretly El Chedderales (dun-dun-duuuuun!), stealthily spreading his brilliant blend of cheddar cheese and spicy jalapeño. You know that he’s paid you a midnight visit by the exciting flavours left on your chiffonier and the etched sword mark on a wall in the shape of a hairless Chihuahua (what’s up with that?).
After a wicked tempest splintered his ship, Lord Nut washed ashore the paradise called Thailand. For the next fortnight, a beguiling gibbon nursed him back to health with the greenest of curries. And so, Lord Nut humbly owes the creation of these peanuts to the bearded rascal. He’d be even more grateful for the mammal’s help if it hadn’t nicked his wallet.
Once, after mooring his ship at Banaba Island, Lord Nut majestically stepped off his vessel. A local dock lass, taken aback by his virile presence, whistled and shouted out, “Come over here, hot Limey!” The ship’s purser mistakenly thought she was calling to him and anxiously ran to her. It was an awkward situation for all parties involved. But at least it inspired this enticing flavour.